you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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