you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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