Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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