I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
