I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
