ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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