I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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