i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
