I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
