hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
