dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
