I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
