Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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