she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
