My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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