In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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