My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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