so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
