That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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