like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
