oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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