I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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