i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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