Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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