She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
