is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
