So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
