i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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