first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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