PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
