If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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