look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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