And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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