Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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