So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
