who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
