Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
