no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
