Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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