high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
