Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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