shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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