you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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