are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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