whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
