I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
