one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
