Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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