I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
True strength comes from lack of pants
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
