I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
