White coat. Heels.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
