I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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