he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
